Roby S. Williams, President & CEO of the Black Business Association, presented the honorees during “Success Against the Odds” – the Mahogany Magazine Release Gala at the Benchmark Hotel on Dec.

When Henry Dorris asked me to do the article, my response was ‘no thanks’.  I’ve been there and done that.  What I meant was, that over my lifetime, I’ve done many articles and other items that publicly display my personal and professional life. Besides, my professional career is about over and there are many others out there who can and should tell their stories, so why not let them have the space?  

It was my good friend Carolyn Hardy who convinced me to spend the time with the magazine and for two reasons:

Henry is a young entrepreneur who is trying to get his business going big time and anything we can do to help him out, we should do it, and

Maybe there is something that I would say that would inspire someone else to take a step that they might not take otherwise.  Something that will give them more confidence that they can be successful against all odds.

So, I agreed to be a part of something that really is much bigger than either Carolyn or I or the magazine. We hope that our stories might inspire someone else to believe that they can be successful, no matter what the particular odds might be.  

Most of both of our stories are in the articles in the magazine that you will be receiving so I am not going to  rehash what you can read on your own.  As you will see though when you read my story, I didn’t follow the usual track and part of that unusualness is not being concerned about what others thought about me then or think about me now.  And, the older I get, I am even LESS concerned.  But to have a reasonable disregard for what the world thinks, one has to know herself really well and also know what her limitations are.  In my case, I know I am not going to do anything that ILLEGAL, IMMORAL, or UNETHICAL.  SO! . . . . everything else is fair game: maybe unorthodox, but acceptable to me and I believe has been important in my journey of success.

I say that because, I believe that SUCCESS IS IN THE EYE OF THE BEHOLDER!  It is important that each of us define success for ourselves and not by someone else’ standards.  If you march to a different drummer or take the road less traveled, so be it.  In the end you only have to answer to yourself and the Good Lord!. . .not your friend, your spouse, your boss, or anyone else.

Edith Kelly-Green (left) says family and friends are among the things she focused on during the journey to success. (Photos by Earl Stanback)

For me, success was not a word that I grew up with and I never defined it in advance.  I knew I didn’t’ want to do manual labor like picking cotton or cleaning houses for a living and there is nothing wrong with that..  . It’s just that laziness is the mother of invention and was an impetus for getting a good education in my case).  I grew up with my grandmother and if I had to study or had reading to do, she gave me a pass on working in the garden or doing most outside chores. So as you can guess, I read a lot, studied a lot and got good grades, which of course, paid off in the long run.  Since there was only the two of us, if I didn’t do my chores, it just meant there was more for her to do.  You see, my grandmother only had a sixth grade education and made a living for us by cleaning houses at the University of Mississippi campus, but she was definitely savvy enough to know the importance of education for me and was willing to make the sacrifice so that I could have the opportunity she was not given.  

 So not being familiar with success was like driving to a destination that was not defined, without a roadmap. But you knew it when you saw it.  The magazine article will tell you more about my stops on the journey, but tonight, I will tell you a little about the road rules that I tried to adhere to and still do while on my journey.

Some of you have heard this before, and it may be repetitive.  But being repetitive, that is focusing on the same things and working to get better at those things is the major interstate highway that I tried to drive on in my success journey.

About 15 years ago, I read a book called “Halftime.”  That book, by Bob Buford, talked about and contrasted SUCCESS and SIGNIFICANCE.  When I read the book, I was in the ‘halftime’ of life so timing was just right.  Basically, Buford said SUCCESS and significance are NOT the same things and we oftentimes confuse the two.  When we are young, our focus is on SUCESS, which, too many of us is making a lot of money, getting promotions, getting a great house, fun cars, and things like that.  But at some point, we realize that while those things are well and good, they are not SIGNIFICANT and in the big picture and the long run, they don’t necessarily make a difference.  Usually, we realize this when we are between 35 and 55 (although unfortunately some of us NEVER have that realization).  But for those of us who do, we begin thinking about what life is all about and what impact we want to leave behind.    We start defining SUCCESS in terms of SIGNIFICANCE and NOT in terms of things.  

To help me focus on SIGNIFICANCE in my life, I took the “F” from FOCUS and cobbled together several areas that I felt if I FOCUSED on those, I would be able to look myself in the mirror at the end of the day and feel that I had been successful in terms of making a difference in my world and that of others.  I would have made an impact of SIGNIFICANCE.

To keep it simple, I focused on the ‘F’s in my life.  Now, usually, an ‘F’ means failure. But these ‘F’s’ helped me prioritize what’s important, or SIGNIFICANT as I traveled my life’s highway.

Fun, Finances, Fitness, F’lanthropy, Family and Friends, and Faith

  FedEx was one of those Fs, but I retired 5 years ago and dropped it from the list.  Working for FedEx was on the list, not because it was significant, but because it was a ‘means to an end’, it provided a foundation that helped me be successful in the other “Fs”.

Henry didn’t give me a lot of time, so I’ll run through these quickly:

FUN:  Fun comes in all sizes and shapes.  Whatever you are involved in, enjoy it and take time just to be silly, laugh, play and have fun and be happy. . .all of it by your own standards!  Again, as long as it’s not illegal, immoral or unethical and also as long as it doesn’t consume totally.  Some of us live a life of continuous ‘fun’ and nothing else.  Not acceptable and it won’t get you to a significance destination!

FINANCES:  Unfortunately, many things in life depend on your financial situation.  That seems to be true now more so than ever.  If your finances are in good shape, you feel the pain less than others.  The most normal way to having your finances in order is by working for someone or for yourself.  FedEx was the foundation for my finances and was a very good one.  But regardless of what your ‘FedEx’ is, you must have a good and strong work ethic like the one your parents and their parents had and unlike the work ethic many of our children have these days which is based on the entitlement theory.  And then you have got to use good sense in balancing what you spend with what you make.  My pastor is here and I want to steal from his favorite piece of financial advice: spend 80 percent of what you make, save 10% of what you make and give 10% of what you make to the church of your choice.  Luckily, I grew up when instant gratification meant, saving up to pay cash or putting something in the layaway (which are coming back) or doing without.  Today, IG means using your credit card, or financing for 24 months at 20 percent interest, or just breaking into your neighbor’s house and taking what you want.  NOT ACCEPTABLE!! The point is, you can’t be available to others, if you have a huge financial albatross around your neck!!  

FITNESS:  Sisters in Motion are you in the house?   Okay, there are 60 women in our group ranging in age from 24 to 60+.  On Saturday mornings at 5:15 in the summers and 6:30 in the winter, you will find us running anywhere from 4 to 20 miles either at Shelby Farms or Downtown and on this past December 6, 30 of us ran in the St Jude races, including the 26.2 mile full marathon which I and 6 others ran, the 13.1 mile half marathon and the 3 mile 5k.  No matter what race we were in, it was a personal challenge that we trained for, supported each other in and accomplished.  Not only were we improving our health, we were raising money and giving back, for a very worthy cause, adhering to 2 of my road signs (fitness and Filantrophy) at the same time.  We aren’t fanatics, but many of us also go to a trainer several times a week and we periodically do nutrition seminars.  . . . so. . . I know you were wondering who all of those fabulous looking women were and . . . now you know. . .  Sisters in Motion!!  Oh, by the way, my crutches don’t have anything to do with my fitness workouts, it’s just one of those foot problems that run in my family and I scheduled the surgery right after the race.  .  The bottom line is this: we are working to improve our health.  It’s hard to make a difference when you are not healthy.  You still can be successful if you are on meds, or in a wheel chair and some of that is not controllable, but start a fitness program early in life although it is never too late to get started.  

Filantrophy, yes I know philanthropy starts with a P, but . .  this is my list so I’m spelling it with phonetically with an F.  I could talk most of the night about giving and about receiving.  I am sure every one of us who has given anything to anyone has received so much more in return.  And it’s not about money, because for many of us, time is the scarcer asset that we have and for many people, time is the most precious gift that they can receive from you.  Filantrophy can also be in the form of advice.  It’s sharing your story, be it about overcoming breast or colon cancer, discrimination in the workplace or how to start a business.  It requires that you open up and give of yourself.  Money isn’t always what is needed. But making it easier for the next person by giving in whatever areas of strength and abundance you have is not only a significant contribution, but it is a gift to yourself AND it improves the odds that the recipient will be successful in their life journey.  

FRIENDS and FAMILY:  these are the people who become so much more important to you the older you get.  They are the ones who will always be there for you and with you as it is for me here tonight.  You have to be a GOOD friend and GOOD family member too.  To increase the odds of success and significance for your friends and relatives,  doesn’t mean being a pushover or solving all of their problems or rescuing then from life learning issues, but it does mean being truthful, compassionate, loving, consistent, forgiving and available.  And very much so it means being a role model for the younger ones in your families like Kyree and DeVine and DaQualah.  And you can’t be a really good role model if you some sense of your finances, fitness and Filantrophy.  

FAITH:  Got to be your number one priority.  When all else fails:  your “FedEx” lays you off, or you contract diabetes, or against all great planning and saving, the stock market crashes and your 401k to quote a great market analyst, becomes a 201k, and even family and friends are focused on their own issues, your faith, your God and your personal relationship with your God will sustain you.  It’s unwavering and unending.  It can’t be touched. And often times, our faith is the last place we turn to, but the good thing is that God is patient and forgiving above everything else.  

These are the road signs that I have tried to adhere to, early in life by accident, and later in life by choice.  They have sustained me well and no doubt, if you don’t already have a roadmap to SUCCESS and more importantly SIGNIFICANCE, these road signs can be a good starting point for you too.  In the end, however, success and significance will be defined by each of you individually.  

Let me leave you with this, one of MY favorite quotes:  “No matter who you are, someone wants to be you!”

(Edith Kelly-Green, formerly Vice President and Chief Sourcing Officer of FedEx Express, is the owner at Kelly Green Enterprises, LLC, a highly successful food and beverage firm.)