Markayla Jones loves her father, who is six months into a two-year sentence that he is serving at the Shelby County Division of Corrections, the old Shelby County Penal Farm.

Mark Tolbert has been locked up too many times, his daughter, Markayla Jones said. She plans to pay him a Father’s Day visit. (Photos by Wiley Henry)

Mark Tolbert, a repeat offender, is doing time for auto theft. On Father’s Day (June 21) he’s expecting a visit from Markayla and her mother.

“He’s been here too many times,” said 9-year-old Markayla during a recent visit to the corrections facility to see her father.

Markayla’s mother, who is not married to Tolbert, has taken her to see him several times. “Responsible Fatherhood,” a federally funded program, helps make the visits possible. It allows inmates to spend time with their children on weekends – a move designed to help children such as Markayla deal with the fears of loneliness and abandonment.

Tatum Holmes’ father, Frank Holmes IV, also is an inmate at the corrections facility. The elder Holmes was caught stealing from his employer. He has been locked up for a little more than seven months but expects to be released in August.

“If he has to go through with this to change, then I’m okay with it,” said 11-year-old Tatum, one of Holmes’ four children by his wife of 10 years, Karen Holmes.

“I miss him so much,” added Tyler, 9. “I’m glad I get to see him every week. When I leave him here at this place, I feel something is missing. When he comes back (home), I will feel complete.”

Stanley B. Lipford, deputy administrator of Re-Entry Services for Shelby County Government, said the Responsible Fatherhood program provides inmates and their children with an opportunity to bond.

 “We found out from our experiences that fathers don’t know their kids and don’t have a relationship with them,” he said. “So there is a need.”

A lesson in fatherhood

The fatherhood program is a reentry initiative of the county’s “The 3R Project: Rehabilitate, Renew and Reconnect.” The program, now in its third year, has five years of funding from the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. It is entirely voluntary and runs in 15-week cycles; about 75 inmates currently participate. To be eligible, an inmate cannot have more than one year left to serve, must have children, cannot have a disciplinary action against him within 90 days, must enroll in a GED prep program and cannot be a sex offender.

Frank Holmes IV said he enjoys being around his children and wife as much as possible.  Triniti (left) and Tanner cry a lot, his wife said.

Frank Holmes IV is serving time for stealing from his employer. He said crack cocaine made him do things that were out of character.  He gets a visit from his family courtesy of Shelby County’s “Responsible Fatherhood” program. From left (clockwise): Tyler, 9, Triniti, 6, Tanner (sitting in her father’s lap), 5, Tatum, 11, and Frank’s wife, Karen.

According to Lipford, about 225 inmates so far this year have learned to socialize and develop life-skills that will help them re-connect with their children and society. 

Children and their fathers spend at least three hours each weekend in a visitation room replete with toys, games and colorful wall art of various caricatures. Food also is served.

Shelby County Mayor A C Wharton Jr. collaborated with Operation Safe Community in 2007 to launch “The 3R Project,” which is based on working models in California, Boston, Chicago and Knoxville.

The program, Lipford said, should reach as many as 300 inmates by year’s end.

“Besides teaching inmates how to be a father, we teach them life-sustaining issues,” he said. “We teach those who don’t know (how to be fathers) and provide additional support and information to those who have an idea.”

Inmates are taught by facilitators who use a fathering handbook called “Inside Out Dad: A Program for Incarcerated Fathers.” Topics in the handbook include discipline, child development, parenting, spirituality, relationships and more.

“We take fathers down memory lane,” said Earnest Townes, one of the facilitators. “Some of them are from single-family homes and might have animosity toward their own fathers.”

The local fatherhood program is an offshoot of the National Fatherhood Initiative, a nonprofit, nonpartisan, membership organization created in 1994 “to improve the well-being of children by increasing the proportion of children growing up with an involved, responsible, and committed father.” Its headquarter is in Gaithersburg, Md.

According to NFI, 24 million children (34 percent) live absent their biological father, nearly 20 million children (27 percent) live in single-parent homes and about 40 percent of children in father-absent homes have not seen their father at all during the past year.

After inmates complete the program, they receive certificates.

 “We track them for six months to a year,” said Lipford. “We try to assist them with employment and provide them with family-oriented social services that they may need. It helps keep the recidivism rate down.”

Rebuilding relationships

Tolbert, 29, said the 10th grade was as far as he got in school, but he went on to get his GED.

“I’ve been through a lot, but I’m trying to make things right,” he said. “I’ve been at the penal farm four times for the same charge. I got a feeling this is going to be different this time. I’m tired of giving my life to the system.”

Markayla’s pain about his incarceration is evident to him.

 “Even though I’m locked up,” he explained, “I try to write her to give her positive words. Despite my being incarcerated, she’s maintained honor roll the whole year and got a trophy.”

Markayla fought back tears when asked what Father’s Day means.

 “I miss him. He used to take me shopping and buy me shoes, clothes and games.”

Tolbert expects to be released in July.

Frank Holmes said the fatherhood program has strengthened his relationship with his wife, Karen, and their children. Karen Holmes said the separation has been awful.

“We miss him dearly,” she said. “I definitely miss his help with the children. I work on weekends, so he would be the one to take them to church on Sundays.”

Frank Holmes said an addiction to crack cocaine led to his crime, arrest and subsequent theft conviction. “My addiction led me to do something I ordinarily wouldn’t have done,” he said.

“The experience of having been away from my family has helped me to get a grip on who I am,” said Holmes, 34. “I do a moral inventory every day. Sometimes the thing that adversely affects us pushes us to reach a pinnacle.”